Kids Today Are Made Of Rice Paper

..soaked in mineral water and then dried out in the desert sun until they are so brittle and fragile that a slight breeze will cause them to perish.

"A [Cincinnati] elementary school was closed after a mercury spill during a science project."

Wow! They must have spilled a 50 gallon vat of mercury or something!

"Officials said someone dropped a thermometer that was part of a project at Holmes Elementary at about 10 a.m."

Back in my day we would have just wiped up the mercury with a napkin and tossed it in the trash can. But these guys evacuate the school like there was a bomb threat from a terrorist group.

Where are we going with all this. I'm surprised kids are allowed to leave a sterilized house without wearing a gas mask and a helmet anymore.