May 2005 Archives

I Like My Flag. Please Stop Stealing It.

Flagpole holder
I woke this morning to find that again my OU flag has been stolen from the front of my house. This is the second time I have purchased a crimson & cream flag to promote the support of OU football, basketball, and to a much lesser extent, academics--only to have it pilfered in the night by someone who probably doesn't share my sentiment.

The flag itself is missing, but I was left behind a broken flagpole and a broken flagpole holder. A quick look would have revealed that the flag was attached to the pole with only a binder clip and that destroying the pole and holder was totally unnecessary if the flag itself was all they wanted.

I looked all around the flag holder for a note saying something like "I know my sports team isn't as good as yours, so I'm cowardly stealing your flag." I found no such note, probably because our thief was too busy breaking the flagpole to practice his penmanship skills. Therefore I will go ahead and assume he was thinking exactly this, along with various thoughts of self-hate and latent desires to buy those pills he saw advertised on the Internet.

I will wait until football season to get another flag. But the next one is going to be soaked in a bath of urushiol oil for the lasting enjoyment of its next handler.

This song is B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Most of the music Gwen Stefani has managed to get on the charts has been pretty decent. At the very least, I have to give her credit for originality (and by her, I must mean Stefani's songwriters). But that credit gets lost amid the negative marks she receives for her meaningless and inane newest song to gain radio play, Hollaback Girl. It's so bad it isn't even worth downloading illegally. I honestly thought this song was a joke when I first heard it on the radio.

I mean, I'm mostly convinced that it was recorded as a dare or for the spoils of some large bet with her friends that she couldn't get a top-10 song where she repeatedly spells out the word "bananas."

I can imagine a conversation like this taking place:

Britney: I released an album with all of the music created on a Casio keyboard I got from Wal-Mart, and I still sold eleventy million copies!

Gwen: Oh yeah, well I can record a song with a farting noise during the chorus and get it voted in the top 10!

But somehow this one has sailed all the way to the #1 spot on the charts as of this writing.

The lyrics just don't make any sense. And I considered the possibility that I'm not hip enough to get it. Nope, 4 out of 5 dentists said that wasn't it. I did need help with the title though. If you do too, check out the entry in the Urban Dictionary.

Just so I'm not completely down on Stefani though, I'll give her a pat on the back for being able to spell bananas correctly. She's very proud of this, and you should be too.

Poems, No Less! Poems, Everybody !

For a while I've enjoyed Max Ehrmann's popular short poem Desiderata. So I reproduced it here in a blatant act of copyright violation.

The laddie reckons himself a poet!

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