Grand Theft Morals


You'd think that it's been a slow news week or something. What started out as an insignificant rumor about the newest Grand Theft Auto video game has turned into an insignificant reality. By going through a detailed hacking effort, an owner of this game can enable a feature which allows your poorly drawn male cartoon character to play Hide The Sausage with a poorly drawn female character.

This is only being mentioned because some asshats think that this aftermarket modification to the game warrants an ESRB rating of Adults Only instead of the Mature rating it is currently being sold with. Primarily behind this effort is California assemblyman Leland Yee who, having already solved all of California's other problems, is now ranting for the change.

I'm not going to post the so-called "Hot Coffee" video on here--not because I'm morally opposed to linking to a pornographic cartoon... wait, no. That's exactly it. I'm morally opposed to linking to something as stupid as a pornographic cartoon.

Just in case you're not familiar with the gameplay, GTA allows you to participate in a host of criminal activity while maintaining just enough of a plot for it to still be called a legitimate game. Steal cars and run over innocent bystanders; shoot police officers; pick up prostitutes, kill them, and steal their money; and commit all kinds of other unsavory and illegal acts. None of this stuff should be restricted to adults only, but Good Lord, we can't allow minors to be exposed to adult-on-adult consensual sex.

I read that there was a one page scene in MAD Magazine back in the 90's with a comic that went something like this:

Movie production studio. Guy rushes into the boss's office:

Guy: "Hey, RJ, I got the ratings people to give the movie an R instead of an X!"

RJ: "Great! How'd you do it?"

Guy: "Remember that scene where Brad takes Michelle home and makes wild, passionate love to her?"

RJ (looking excited): "Boy, do I!"

Guy: "I changed the script. Now he kills her!"

Nutty !


hi svott when did you start using uppercase letters in your writing?

more importantly, when did the little plastic lizard in my car learn to type ?