Goodbye T-Mobile

Hot on the heels of Famous J's switch to T-Mobile is my own hasty departure from their services. After years of frustration from dropped calls in my house, neighborhood, and country, I've finally decided to take my number over to Cingular, where the service isn't quite as terrible or quite as inexpensive.

I really tried to stay with T-Mobile though. I've been a customer of theirs for a number of years and old habits are hard to break. Repeated calls to Customer Service about poor coverage eventually degraded into a rep telling me to stick my phone up my ass to see if the reception improves. I tried to explain to him that I don't keep anything antenna-like up my ass anymore, but it fell on deaf ears.

Then I went to an actual T-Mobile store in the mall, which I found immediately upon walking in the mall entrance. This wasn't luck though, because I soon found out while walking around (looking for Victoria's Secret) that there were no less than 87 T-Mobile stores, resellers, and kiosks in Collin Creek Mall. Prediction: within 3 years, we will have malls that contain nothing but Starbucks and mobile phone resellers.

The guy working there, who we'll call Jeremy (because that was his name), was very enthusiastic about helping me out. In fact, he offered to fill out on my behalf the super-secret confidential trouble form for T-Mobile employees and their families. I guess I became his honorary second cousin twice-removed for the duration of this little stunt. Jeremy assured me that these form submissions go directly to the tech support people and receive priority attention.

Now I'm assuming "priority attention" means that they might get around to it sometime before mobile phones become obsolete. After one week, I called him at the store because nothing had improved. Although Jeremy had assured me that it would be taken care of within one week's time, he now said that sometimes it takes longer and I should give them another week. Clever bastards! After another week of extreme patience, George* and I decided I wasn't going to be fooled again.

Time for the big switch. I'm not big on commitments unless we're talking about something frivolous like marriage, so I didn't want a 2-year contract. This news came as complete shock to the Cingular guy at Best Buy, who reacted as if he had never heard such blasphemy before. As he incredulously repeated to me "You don't want a two-year contract??!!!111one" like it was the nicest thing he had ever offered someone, I slowly backed away, hoping to not provoke him further. I don't think I could have gotten a more shocked reaction out of the guy if I had dropped my pants and assaulted him right there in the store.

So I went to the Cingular retail store where they do offer single-year contracts. I didn't want a new phone or anything, so I just got a shiny new orange SIM card for the SE637 I already have.

The good news is, my efforts do not appear to be in vain. I've had several phone conversations over the weekend and not once did I hear a complaint about my phone cutting out. The other good news, as I mentioned before, is that my phone number hasn't changed. So, you know, go ahead and call me right now and tell me how awesome I am. If you want. Thanks.

* Fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again.