Pink Eye


What kind of crap is this. I'm 28 years old and I get pink eye, a disease I thought was reserved for toddlers and people embalmed with Worcestershire sauce. I get over one ailment and another is waiting in line.

An actual human eye. Mine, in fact.

Since I'm an amateur physician/astronaut, I decided to take it upon myself to treat my ailment. The usual sources, WebMD and Wikipedia provided me with a wealth of simultaneously encouraging and discouraging information. The good news is I'm not going to die, and the bad news is that I actually will die eventually, but not from pink eye. The other bad news is that this could take weeks to clear up, there's no known cure, and it's highly contagious.

As if I hadn't had enough of this homeopathic crap yet, the only thing available at Walgreens to treat pink eye is another one of these drugs where all the active ingredients have been removed. On purpose. The eye drops don't seem to be doing anything to make the pink eye go away, but they are soothing to the stinging, sticky feeling I'm dealing with, and that's better than nothing.

I'm not sure why, but I'm admitting defeat and paying a visit to my PCP so he can tell me to stay at home and get plenty of rest, stop drinking so much, and eat my vegetables, because there's nothing he can do. I'm going to ignore all of this advice once again, especially the staying at home part. I'm currently at work rubbing my eyeballs on everything.

I'm in no particular hurry to get over this health problem, because I'm sure some other juvenile ailment like chicken pox is waiting patiently in line, too. At least they are nice enough to take turns.


I had pink eye not too long ago. It only last maybe three or four days for me. Hopefully the same for you. I did nothing for it.

Hey thanks A LOT for the PINK EYE! I REALLY appreciate it. You're so thoughtful to include me.