Last night I was using the urinal at a restaurant/bar when I hear a guy walk up behind me and say in a soft, childlike voice, "Come on buddy, let's go. Come on..." , almost as if he was doing a Mike Tyson impression. I was shocked, because this isn't something I'm comfortable hearing from behind even when my pants aren't already unzipped.
I turned my head slowly and noticed a largish guy standing directly behind me, looking down around waist-level. This made me do the same thing, looking at myself to see if I had a funny sign inadvertantly stuck to my posterior or something, all the while thinking of the words he had just spoken.
It was at this time I noticed the guy had a toddler with him, that he was presumably in there with to assist in his bathroom efforts. The relief swept over me like a Gitmo prisoner being released as I realized the guy wasn't trying to go Brokeback on me after all.
I was told my face was still red when I made it back to the table.