Tomato Funeral

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There's this thing I like to do in public places where myself and another person will have a bizarre or unrealistic conversation, unbeknownst to the others around us that we're making up the details of the fake story as we go along. The idea is to weird-out the bystanders and make them puzzle the nature of the implausible conversation. I think of it as a community service of sorts. You know, it gives our victims something to talk about in the lunchroom other than the weather or what happened on American Idol the previous night.

As an extension of this, Sofia and I will sometimes pretend to be meeting for the first time, and aggressively flirt or pursue one-another for a date. This is of course very unnatural behavior for me, and I screw it up frequently. The ruse is given away when I'm unable to come up with a fake name immediately, because of course I can't tell her my real name (kind of like when I meet women for real). For some reason, the name I always pick is a Hispanic name. I'm not trying to say Hispanic men are more likely to pressure women for their company, but I'm not going to rule that out either.

I'm sure fake conversations of this kind are far from uncommon, considering the insane things I hear people talking about when I'm eavesdropping in the elevator or in the bathroom. Sure enough, I found a comment on some weirdo's blog to support the idea that other people engage in this abusive pasttime.

My friends and I have, in the past, enjoyed playing a game we affectionately call "tomato funeral". Often when we find ourselves in close but temporary proximity to a stranger or group of strangers (like being in an elevator) one of us will start the game by turning to the other and asking:

"So then what happened?"

At this point it's the goal of the other person to come up with the most nonsensical but still plausible conclusion to a conversation that will presumably leave the strangers wondering for the rest of the day what possible situation could have led up to that phrase. The game is named after one of the earliest successes:

"Oh, well, she went to the funeral, but, well, you know, I doubt she'll ever eat tomatoes again"

Points are awarded for creativity and quickness of response.

Anything to add a little surrealism to someone else's life.

Good times, good times.

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So then what happened?