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Miss Teen South Carolina, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Go watch the video. No, really--you'll be glad you did--it will make your day. Then give her a map and see if she can locate the United States in under 30 minutes. Bonus if she looks down at the ground for clues.

Sheepish admission: If I had to speak in public in front of so many people, her answer would sound like a Winston Churchill speech in comparison to what I would come up with.

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