Abortion Doughnuts

Please take a moment to read this press release by Krispy Kreme:

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American's sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies -- just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet "free" can be.

A normal person reads this and thinks, "Oh cool, I should get me one of them free donuts," krispy kreme glazed doughnutor "Huh that's a nice gesture, but I don't care for their artery-clogging sugar rings." 

The American Life League, however, hones in on the "c" word and immediately decides that taking offense is the only reasonable reaction.  What, you didn't see anything offensive about the Krispy Kreme press release ?   Well then, you need to go back to sensitivity training because the word "choice" is now synonymous with baby killing.

Read it here in a news release from the American Life League:

The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that "choice" is synonymous with abortion access and celebration of 'freedom of choice' is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand.

I had no idea !  I'll remove that word from my vocabulary immediately, so I don't give anyone the wrong idea.  The ALL would also like you to know that the word "the" is extremely derogatory toward women between the ages of 0 and 110, so change your behavior accordingly to appease them.

They generously do allow that Krispy Kreme's hateful baby murdering speech might have been unintentional:

Just an unfortunate choice of words? For the sake of our Wednesday morning doughnut runs, we hope so.

Now that's interesting.  I don't even understand what an "unfortunate abortion access of words" is referring to.

The crazy doesn't stop there:

Celebrating his inauguration with "Freedom of Choice" doughnuts – only two days before the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to decriminalize abortion – is not only extremely tacky, it's disrespectful and insensitive and makes a mockery of a national tragedy. 

It looks like all future celebrations of any kind must be canceled immediately to avoid being disrespectful and insensitive.  You're going to be hard pressed to find any day of the calendar year that isn't the anniversary of some tragedy, let alone within two days of a tragedy.  Let's see.. on September 21, 1942, Nazis killed 2588 Jews.  Guess I can never celebrate my birthday again.

Anyway, they're setting the criteria for calling something a national tragedy far too low.  The only national tragedy here is that our right to abortion can't be applied retroactively to people who try to invent ways of being offended under any circumstance.

I don't think it's all bad for Krispy Kreme, though.  They're at least getting a bit of extra publicity out of this inane accusation.  As a result of the extra attention, I hear they're even going to extend their free donut offer until 10 AM on Wednesday morning, in what they're now calling the "Morning After" promotion.