(nedroidcomics)

Don't forget:  you're supposed to say "twenty-ten," not "two-thousand ten."  It's just easier, and more futurey sounding.

courtesy of Lawrence Yang

He has already banned lobbyist gifts to executive employees.

“We are here as public servants, and public service is a privilege,” Obama said, addressing his White House staff and Cabinet on his first full day in office. “It’s not about advancing yourself or your corporate clients.”

He's working to reverse the appalling efforts of John Ashcroft to stifle the Freedom of Information Act by issuing a memo saying "in the face of doubt, openness prevails."

All agencies should adopt a presumption in favor of disclosure, in order to renew their commitment to the principles embodied in FOIA, and to usher in a new era of open Government. The presumption of disclosure should be applied to all decisions involving FOIA.

He's issued an order to close the prison camp at Guantanamo Bay.

By ordering shut the prison camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, closing any remaining CIA secret prisons overseas and banning harsh interrogation practices, Obama said he was signaling that the U.S. would confront global violence without sacrificing "our values and our ideals."

"First, I can say without exception or equivocation that the United States will not torture," he said. "Second, we will close the Guantanamo Bay detention camp and determine how to deal with those who have been held there."

That's a pretty good start, if you ask me.  Let's watch him keep it up by tracking Obama's compaign promises.

Happy inauguration day, everyone.

That is all.

Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American's sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies -- just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet "free" can be.

A normal person reads this and thinks, "Oh cool, I should get me one of them free donuts," or "Huh that's a nice gesture, but I don't care for their artery-clogging sugar rings." 

The American Life League, however, hones in on the "c" word and immediately decides that taking offense is the only reasonable reaction.  What, you didn't see anything offensive about the Krispy Kreme press release ?   Well then, you need to go back to sensitivity training because the word "choice" is now synonymous with baby killing.

Read it here in a news release from the American Life League:

The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that "choice" is synonymous with abortion access and celebration of 'freedom of choice' is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand.

I had no idea !  I'll remove that word from my vocabulary immediately, so I don't give anyone the wrong idea.  The ALL would also like you to know that the word "the" is extremely derogatory toward women between the ages of 0 and 110, so change your behavior accordingly to appease them.

They generously do allow that Krispy Kreme's hateful baby murdering speech might have been unintentional:

Just an unfortunate choice of words? For the sake of our Wednesday morning doughnut runs, we hope so.

Now that's interesting.  I don't even understand what an "unfortunate abortion access of words" is referring to.

The crazy doesn't stop there:

Celebrating his inauguration with "Freedom of Choice" doughnuts – only two days before the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to decriminalize abortion – is not only extremely tacky, it's disrespectful and insensitive and makes a mockery of a national tragedy. 

It looks like all future celebrations of any kind must be canceled immediately to avoid being disrespectful and insensitive.  You're going to be hard pressed to find any day of the calendar year that isn't the anniversary of some tragedy, let alone within two days of a tragedy.  Let's see.. on September 21, 1942, Nazis killed 2588 Jews.  Guess I can never celebrate my birthday again.

Anyway, they're setting the criteria for calling something a national tragedy far too low.  The only national tragedy here is that our right to abortion can't be applied retroactively to people who try to invent ways of being offended under any circumstance.

I don't think it's all bad for Krispy Kreme, though.  They're at least getting a bit of extra publicity out of this inane accusation.  As a result of the extra attention, I hear they're even going to extend their free donut offer until 10 AM on Wednesday morning, in what they're now calling the "Morning After" promotion.

It's possible that my answers will be received with mild skepticism.  I didn't write caucasian for my race because I'm not from the region of Caucasus.  I don't know why white people are collectively referred to as caucasians anyway.  It's like calling Native Americans by the label Indians, even though they are not from India.

I also accurately listed my religion as Pastafarian.  If anyone actually looks at this answer, it could go a couple of different ways.  Most would probably read it as Rastafarian and move on.  Others might reject it as an illegitimate religion based on relative obscurity.  Either mistake would be unfortunate.

Because you're feigning interest right now, I'll let you know how the day goes.

EARLY to bed, early to rise, makes you healthy, wealthy and wise, so goes the old proverb. But it seems the advice holds little truth.  Research now suggests that if you want to be the wisest, you really need to stay up - well, until 10.04pm at least.

The findings echo an Italian study in 2006 that found those who stay up late have the most original ideas.